Boris Johnson asked to stop moving into number 10

Boris Johnson has been asked by David Cameron to stop moving his belongings into number 10  and at least wait until a leadership contest according to Government sources. It’s thought that ever since he was turned away from Downing street 6 months ago after arriving with several removal lorries, he has been attempting to move himself in, a little bit at a time.

A source close to the Prime Minster told us “It’s been going on for weeks. Boris turned up at a meeting with a toothbrush and a wash bag just in case things carried on into the night. This is quite common practice and aroused no suspicion, but the next time he turned up with a book case and the time after that with a fitted kitchen. It’s got to the point that David’s scared to open his front door in case Boris barges in with a box.”

A friend of the Cameron family echoed the same concerns “It’s got even worse recently. New ornaments have been appearing on mantelpieces and David isn’t entirely sure that Boris isn’t actually living somewhere in number 10 already. He’s already twice caught Boris changing the television channel from behind the sofa using his own remote control. It seems that he  prefers Emmerdale whereas David would rather watch the One show.”

The Mayor of London has however denied any intention of moving into number 10  insisting that his recent comings and goings with boxes of household items are simply part of an ongoing  Eton College game of ‘hide the sausage’.   Played only in privileged circles, the rules of hide the sausage can seem complex and unclear to outsiders, and games can span over several decades before a winner is announced.

Brushing off talk of an imminent leadership bid Mr Johnson told us “The whole things bally ridiculous.  I’m just a big soppy jingoistic sheep dog.  And I’m 100% behind David Cameron. He has my full support whatever career he moves on to do.”