George Osborne in chocolate money spending bonanza

george osborne chocolate money

In a move that has prompted political analysts to suggest that he may well be losing the plot, the Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne has been accused of attempting to use chocolate money to ease the deficit.

Governor of the Bank of England Sir Mervyn King told NewsToad “We couldn’t believe it! The Chancellor just swaggered into my office unannounced and emptied a huge bag of foil covered chocolate coins over my desk. He seemed a little drunk and ever so slightly foaming at the mouth. He simply said to me ‘That should cover the deficit Merv’ after which he stumbled out again. We’re all a little concerned regarding the whereabouts of that £35 billion ‘quantitative easing money’ that Mr Osborne has earlier commandeered. He did appear to have a great deal of chocolate money.”

Mr Osborne who hit the headlines recently for attempting to upgrade to a first class rail ticket using chocolate money, was forthright in defending his actions. A little unsteady on his feet he told us “It might be chocolate money, but I’m going to use it to pay off the deficit and make Britain great again. Labour would have just eaten it. All the money!”

In what may be one of his last statements before his departure Sir Mervyn  told us “We are obviously concerned that Mr Osborne receives the care and support that he needs. However if we can get hold of as much of the chocolate currency as possible, we might be able to persuade Thorntons to refund some of our cash.”

Shadow Chancellor Eddie Balls has not ruled out getting moderately drunk and trying to pay things with chocolate himself under a labour government. “It’s due to the government’s mismanagement of the economy that we’re going to do exactly the same thing” he mused.

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