Mass middle class panic as house prices start vibrating

The Bank of England have been urged today to use whatever fiscal powers they have at their disposal as throughout Britain house prices began vibrating for the first time in recent history. One owner of a larger than average house told us “It’s absolutely terrible. If my house is increasing in value then naturally I […]

Employers say “It’s ok not to go in tomorrow”

Employers have come together to agree an impromptu day off for all workers tomorrow. A spokesman for the National Union of Bosses told us. “It’s been a lovely day, and people have obviously had a few beers after lunch, so we’re willing to draw a blind eye if people can’t be arsed to come in. […]

George Osborne in chocolate money spending bonanza

In a move that has prompted political analysts to suggest that he may well be losing the plot, the Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne has been accused of attempting to use chocolate money to ease the deficit. Governor of the Bank of England Sir Mervyn King told NewsToad “We couldn’t believe it! The Chancellor […]