UKIP’s only MP, Douglas Carswell, has told of his fury that the first week of his term has been marred by a sudden and unexpected influx of immigrants from the country of Dolaria, which is situated between Bulgaria, Romania and Spain.
A spokesman for the foreign office explained “Romanians and Bulgarians did not arrive in anything like the numbers expected earlier in the year due to not actually being that bothered about living in Britain. However, Dolaria is a different matter and over half the population are literally already in transit heading for our shores.”
One Dolarian who arrived at Gatwick this morning told us “I am coming over here for your generous benefits package of course. But the main reason is we are all big fans of UKIP. They are calling a spade a spade and where we come from, we like calling spades spades, so now everybody is voting for them we are coming to live in Britain.”
Under EU legislation Britain has to offer all Dolarians a full benefits package which due to an earlier opt out they cannot get in Bulgaria or Romania.
A spokesman from the Romanian Government explained “We shut our borders with Dolaria many years ago due to their resolute unwillingness to work and an economy that revolves entirely around stealing from each other. Maybe they’ll behave better in Britain.”
One furious Clacton on Sea resident told us that Clacton had never seen the like until they had a UKIP MP and Douglas Carswell should step down immediately or call another by-election standing for the Conservative party.
“So much for UKIP. They’re supposed to helping sort out the perceived immigration issues what everyone is jumping on the bandwagon about, including me. They’ve got one MP and suddenly the flood gates have been opened. And there’s more immigrants coming in as well.”
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