Prince Charles will abandon the democratic system the moment he is king and will rule Britain with a rod of iron a bit like Henry VIII or Kim Jong-Un according to palace insiders.
Royal correspondent Nicholas Witchell said “He’s been meeting with other kings and Princes over in the middle east, and he’s also been watching Wolf Hall on the telly. And he’s very clear that he wants a bit of that for himself.”
Lawyers are divided on Charles’ legal remit to declare absolute power but it seems likely that new laws will be passed immediately on his coronation. These are thought to include Scottish people having to say the word ‘no’ instead of ‘noo’, knocking down all new buildings and replacing them with old ones of historical interest, and imprisoning all doctors and awarding all their surgeries to homeopathic practitioners.
A spokesman for the Palace told us that the transition to autocratic rule was expected to be a smooth one.
“People might initially be unhappy about having to doff their caps every time they see a member of the aristorcracy and not have opinions of their own but on the other hand they won’t have to hear people shouting at each other on question time.”
Indeed Political presenter Andrew Marr said he was looking forward to a royalist totalitarian feudal system. “I’m sick of cross questioning lying politicians. Instead my show will involve me standing in reverence in front of a large statue of king Charles and with a smattering of brass band music hoping that I don’t get beheaded” He chuckled.
Prince Charles is at present waiting to be king. He is thought to be passing the time until then by writing letters and going on holiday.
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