English voters’ anger at news they can’t vote for the nice welsh lady

leanne wood

Yesterdays leadership debate has been branded farcical by many voters across England who were persuaded to give Plaid Cymru their vote only to find out they apparently couldn’t.

One incensed viewer from Surrey said “Apparently I can’t vote for the nice Welsh lady. They tease us by putting someone vaguely normal on these debates and then it turns out that you can’t actually vote for them unless you go to Wales. And not just on holiday. You actually have to live there.”

Voted least likely of all the leaders to take a shit in your airing cupboard without asking, Plaid Cymru leader Leanne Wood is now thought to be the hot favourite for a number of seats in the home counties were she actually standing for any of them. One other viewer told us:

“It was difficult to decide between them with Cameron promising to carry on making cuts for everyone except his rich mates, Clegg having no remorse about privatising the NHS and Farage’s compelling argument that all foreigners must die of aids.”

“Nicola Sturgeon came across well enough but she wants to stop everyone saying “no” and start everyone saying “nooo” instead. And I was initially swayed by Milband as he looked straight into the camera as if he was actually talking to me personally. And then I realised that he was, and he could see straight into my living room. And straight into my soul. And I didn’t like it.”

“The only other option might be to vote for that stressed Australian lady from the Green Party. But she’s come over here to tell us to be more green when her own country is full of deserts.”

We went to Leanne Wood’s local pub to interview her after the debate. But everyone just started speaking Welsh.


  1. In a grass roots survey – carried out in my local pub in Gillingham – it was found that ninety percent of those asked believed the most intelligent people in England spoke Welsh to a basic conversational level.

  2. @themaskedfrog:
    You said “We went to Leanne Wood’s local pub to interview her after the debate. But everyone just started speaking Welsh.”

    Being Welsh, I can relate to that. I once went into a pub in a town in Surrey. As soon as I walked in through the door, they all started speaking in English. I mean, it’s so very rude of them, isn’t it?

  3. * CYMRU

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