Miliband and Cameron refuse to rule out coalition with each other

David Cameron and Ed Miliband have refused to rule out a coalition with each other should the smaller parties start getting too many seats and therefore want to be involved in Government.

A spokesman for both parties said “It should be quite straight forward. We’ll do some things we want to do and some things that they want to do. This will be done by rolling  dice. Or we might just govern on alternative days and then we don’t need to speak to each other. Alternatively we’ll actually splice our genes together like some Island of Doctor Moreau experiment and rule Britain as corporation controlled hybrids.

“Basically we’ll make cuts. But some days we’ll do it with a happy face. And some days with a sad face.

“Either way you can be sure we’ll justify it in media interviews by waggling our fingers and saying ‘Look’ a lot. Then we can all go to the pub until 2020 leaving the SNP, Lib Dems, UKIP and the Greens to stand up on podiums having more debates. But this time without the cameras.”

“That’ll wipe the smile of their faces”

One voter said such a coalition would make life much easier as it would remove the need for all political opinion and abstract thought.

“At the moment in my constituency you have to vote Lib Dem in order to actually vote Labour because Labour can’t win here and neither can the Greens and otherwise the Conservatives will get in. This way we get a government nobody likes. And that’s got to be fairer.”