Media mogul Rupert Murdoch and former model Jerry Hall are reported to be consummating their marriage at this exact moment according to sources close to the pair.
Reports that neither have been seen live on any internet footage for a matter of minutes in the aftermath of their earlier nuptials have led to widespread speculation that rather than a media circus of a sham of a marriage, Mr Murdoch might actually be planning to give it a go.
One wedding guest confided “They were married a few hours ago. So by now they’ll most likely be at it hammer and tongs with Mr Murdoch going for it like a geriatric Ron Jeremy. Let’s hope so anyway because if not then they won’t have made their marriage official in they eyes of God and consequently they’ll be living in sin.”
“If they are having it off with or without chemical assistance then I never knew he had it in him. Though who knows what goes on behind closed doors” Another revealed.
A spokesman for News Corporation has indicated that the couple will be serialising their matrimonial romps in print, both in the Sunday Sun and the Sunday Times but with longer words.
“We’re just writing it up now. We’ve told Rupert it’s not important, he shouldn’t feel pressured and we can try again in a few issues.” He explained.