Ladbrokes have announced that from today they will not be taking any further bets on the new Prime Minister being an arse hat.
A spokesman for the corporate bookies said “We aim to offer all our customers a wide range of outcomes on which to place bets, thus assuring our place at the forefront of the betting industry. However, due to the line-up consisting of such a motley pack of weasels we’re also unable to take bets on the new Prime Minister being a cock womble, a fuck trumpet or an evil blood sucking leach with a sole mission to make life as miserable as possible for the poor and disaffected. Obviously it’s fine to bet on each individual candidate by name.”
At least 100,000 conservative members will be able to vote in the contest, with many more trying to cancel their labour membership having joined temporarily last year to vote for Jeremy Corbyn. This time they will be choosing from a former cabinet member sacked for corruption, Cruella De Vil, a man who claims to cure homosexuals as a way to hide his true sexuality from himself, Evil June Whitfield and Pob.
“Personally I was hoping that Liam Fox would win. Because if Angela Eagle won the Labour leadership then you’d have a fox arguing with an eagle. That’d be brilliant.” One member explained.