Leadsom “Male zoo keepers will just try to shag the animals”

Zoos should only employ female zoo keepers, as the male ones would only try to shag the animals, according to former Prime Ministerial candidate Andrea Leadsom. “I’m only saying what we all know. Would you leave a man in charge of your zebra? Not if you don’t want him to be up to his nuts […]

Leadsom to bring back corporal punishment, ducking stools and blood letting

Conservative leadership hopeful Andrea Leadsom will bring back corporal punishment, blood letting and ducking tools should she obtain the job of Prime Minister.

Conservatives to choose between nearly as bad as Thatcher or slightly worse

Swivel eyed loons at Conservative clubs throughout the country are preparing to choose a new despot, as the choice now appears to be between ‘nearly as mad as Thatcher’ and ‘quite a bit worse’.

Ladbrokes stop taking bets on new Prime Minister being an arse-hat

Ladbrokes have announced that from today they will not be taking any further bets on the new Prime Minister being an arse hat.