Leadsom to bring back corporal punishment, ducking stools and blood letting

Conservative leadership hopeful Andrea Leadsom will bring back corporal punishment, blood letting and ducking tools should she obtain the job of Prime Minister.

Conservatives to choose between nearly as bad as Thatcher or slightly worse

Swivel eyed loons at Conservative clubs throughout the country are preparing to choose a new despot, as the choice now appears to be between ‘nearly as mad as Thatcher’ and ‘quite a bit worse’.

Prime Minister Gove to punish everyone

Michael Gove has promised today that should he obtain the role of Prime Minister he will exact venomous revenge on all humankind rather than just singling out a particular minority to punish.