The world is 4000 years old and the human race started with one white couple in Africa, an apple and a snake, the Prime Minister has confirmed following this morning’s meeting with the DUP.
Speaking from outside Number 10 Mrs May, who appears to still be there, said “I can confirm that a Conservative DUP alliance will be running the country and negotiating a hard and unpleasant Brexit for Britain. We’ll be providing an eclectic mix of isolationism and social intolerance. It’s the will of the people. Except for the gays, who are only smarting because we’re now going to stop them from getting married.
“However, apart from reversing gay marriage and of course taxing people for being gay, it will be business as usual and we will be implementing all the same policies as if we’d had an outright majority. But we’ll also be denying climate change and banning abortion.”
DUP leader and soon to be Deputy Prime Minister Arlene Foster has welcomed the additional policies, which include ducking stools for disobedient wives, but has played down any suggestion of collusion with terrorist organisations.
“We’re nothing like the Taliban. We worship a completely different sky fairy for a start.” She explained.
“At worst we’re just going to make Britain into Donald Trump’s little bat shit crazy pet monkey.” She added.
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