Asteroid “not guaranteed” to hit Britain

Scientists have urged the British public to stay calm and not panic over the possibility that Britain might at some point be hit by an asteroid. Speaking to a heaving press conference Professor Brian Cox explained “At some point something is going to collide with something else. And if one of those things is Britain […]

Clouds on Mars could mean alien invasion

Swirling clouds spotted on Mars could mean some sort of invasion of earth by some sort of alien race, scientists admitted today. A spokesman from Jodrell Bank Observatory told us “We thought Mars did not have an atmosphere, but now it has clouds it clearly does. Or maybe it doesn’t. And that might be even […]

Britain overrun with poisonous spiders

Britain not only now has highly poisonous spiders but is actually overrun with them to a level approaching plague proportions according to a new study released today. The unsubstantiated report from an unnamed source states “They don’t seem to be biting people just yet and hardly anyone has seen them but that doesn’t mean that […]