Queen urged to stop milking it

queen coronation

The Queen has been urged to stop milking it with the incessant rounds of birthdays, official birthdays, jubilees and anniversaries of coronations according to an insider from the British public.

“It’s just got stupid. I’m sure these things used to be once every ten years or so. But it’s got like X factor or Britain’s got talent. Now every time you turn the television on it’s that Queen prancing around acting like Johnny Big Potatoes. It’s like that friend everybody has that has to celebrate their ‘birthday week’  or that couple that has to renew their wedding vows every other year. It’s even worse than that horrible family that send you their annual newsletter every Christmas.”

However, a palace insider who wished to remain anonymous told us that that Royal celebrations held in public are only the tip of the ice berg and behind the palace walls are a constant stream of commemorative events. “It’s awful, we have to stand in the corridors constantly waving flags and making cucumber sandwiches. For example, I’ve only just taken down the bunting from yesterdays ‘tenth anniversary of the time the Queen had a difficult poo’ and now I’ve got to put it up again because she’s bought a new jumper.”

Royal reporter Nicholas Witchell told us “The Queen looked marvellous and splendid and an inspiration. It may seem like an easy job but you have to wave and wear a crown and eat swan” he explained.


  1. No-one hangs out the bunting out when I have a difficult poop, that’s bloody favourtism!

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