Shops stock up as public start panic buying wild animals for Christmas

animal nativity

Departments store owners John Lewis, Debenhams and Timothy Whites are preparing themselves for record sales of live animals as many of the British public look set to recreate realistic nativity scenes in their own homes, planning to have the whole thing set up by early to mid November.

One buyer told us “Many people imagine that there were just some cattle lowing, maybe some horses and perhaps a sheep. But if you read the book of Leviticus, it clearly states that there was also a baboon, a baby hippo and a wallaby. The whole birth of the messiah would have been a very chaotic and noisy affair.”

However the head of the church of England, discounting the Queen, the Right Reverend Justin Welby, warned that the actual message of Christmas may be lost if it simply becomes an exchange of mammals, reptiles and birds. “Christmas is supposed to be a day of giving and reflection, not an outward display of how many animals from around the world you can fit into your front room or barn conversion. And it starts too early. In my day people wouldn’t even start borrowing animals from the zoo until the day before Christmas eve. We’ve lost the true meaning of it all somewhere along the line.”

Indeed Christmas may be a time to dread for those with limited finances according to BBC business reporter Steph McGovern.  Speaking on BBC breakfast she explained “There will more than likely be some stigma as to how people came by their animals in the first place, with animal loan companies charging exorbitant rates of interest.  It should really just be about how many animals you have, not about whether you’ve bought or rented them.”

One shopper we spoke to Bert Onions told us that he would be avoiding all major department stores over the next 2 months as there would be a good chance that they might be playing ‘pipes of peace’ by Paul McCartney. “I tend to ignore the pre Christmas hysteria and pick up a ferret from the 24 hour garage on Christmas eve” he admitted.


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: