EU restriction on migrant’s benefits leaves UKIP supporters with nothing to talk about

ukip benefits

A European Court of Justice ruling backing Germany’s attempts to restrict unemployed migrants’ rights to welfare has been criticised for leaving UKIP supporters with nothing to talk to each other about. Whilst some UKIPers it is thought have been easily able to make the transition and start talking about other things that might interest them, others have either remained absolutely silent or have been spotted walking round and round in circles muttering incoherently.

UKIP leader Nigel Farage told us “It’s outrageous. I’ve got nothing at all to shout about. But if you think that’s going to stop me shouting then you’ve got another thing coming. I’ll just stop using words and shout noises instead. Weeooo!! Raaaargh!! Grooooo!!”

UKIP’s first MP Douglas Carswell added “We’ll still have a referendum. We’ll insist on it. But instead of an in out shall we leave the EU referendum, it could be who likes cheese referendum.”

One Clacton publican told us his business would suffer if locals were deprived of ammunition for borderline racism.

“It’s sucked the life blood out of this place, even worse than the smoking ban. What have my punters got to talk about if foreigners aren’t apparently leaching Britain dry through it’s alleged generous benefits system? They’ve already had the bottom fall out of their worlds with the news that EU migrants rather than taking all our jobs actually benefit the economy. If it carries on like this they even might have to take responsibility for their own shortfalls rather than blaming everything on foreigners.”

In another blow for UKIP, scientific doubt has been passed on an exact correlation between homosexuality and bad weather.

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