Don’t make a fuss about my birthday says God

In a rare statement God has gone on record to say he’s not that arsed about his birthday this year and really doesn’t want people to make a fuss.

Speaking via the medium of vicars the supreme being explained “I don’t want anyone taking time off work on my account, I’d rather people just treated it like a normal day. Being 2014 isn’t that special anyway when I’ve not long had the big 2000. Now when I get to 3000 we’ll have a huge party. You can put that in your diary.”

One church insider confirmed that a quiet one may well be on the cards.”He says he might go out to for a Pizza express with the son and the holy spirit but he doesn’t want one of those big surprise parties like last year.”

However, by some accounts the supreme deity has got another thing coming if he thinks that everyone will respect his wishes.

Indeed, one reveller from Burgess Hill, Sussex told us that he had been planning a surprise party for the omnipotent one for months and would be having it large for God’s birthday with or without his blessing.

“I’ve covered my house in lights and decorations with a giant rotating snowman out the front and I’ve spent nearly £100 on a huge turkey which I’m going to seriously overcook.  He might think he’s getting away without a party but he’s having one and he’s going to bloody well enjoy it. The little tinker.”