Prospective Republican candidate for the presidency Donald Trump has said that he would leave the country in the event that he became President of the USA.
Also known as Donald Trumpety-Trump the famous tycoon who inherited his wealth told a press conference that his refusal to endorse gun controls, and his habit of blaming the country’s problems on an entire race or religion, would make the USA a scary place to live in and he would be better off staying out of it.
“I wouldn’t want to live in the States under my rule. Have you heard some of the things I come out with? That’s why I refer to myself in the third person to make sure I don’t ever get mistaken for me. No you won’t see me for dust. I’ll be away indefinitely playing golf on my course in Scotland. And I expect the bill to be footed by Muslims and Mexicans” He explained.
“I’ll obviously be back to fight for a second term. But if I win it then that’s it. I’m off again.” He warned.
A spokesman for the Trump corporation confirmed that Trump has a private jet to Scotland on standby, ready to leave the moment any news broke of him landing the top job, and insisted Scotland was the right place for him to escape to.
“His toupee might blow off on the driving range and the entire Scottish population hate him with a passion. But all in all we think Mr Trump might be better off in a country that doesn’t really have any guns. The worst possible case scenario there, is that they put him in a wicker man and set fire to it.”