Daily Mail readers have this morning demanded clarity from their newspaper following claims that the labour party are in fact the party of racial intolerance.
One outraged reader said “I’ve been reading the Mail every morning since the 1960s and have dutifully followed my instructions to blame all my life’s woes on the foreign looking family that moved in to number 18. And they’ve assured me that that means voting conservative. Labour are supposed to be fluffy do gooders who let them all in to claim benefits and won’t salute the queen. But if these new allegations are true then I’ve been lied to. I’m going to have to join the Labour party myself or start reading the Daily Express. Quite frankly I’m in a bit of a tiz.”
Daily Mail owner Lord Rothermere has called for calm and warned all manner of terrible things could still happen if its readers started voting labour.
“It’s not about which race or religious group to blame for things, it’s about me not paying any tax thanks to my old school friends in the Conservative party. So we’ll be instructing our readers to shun labour even if they suddenly appear to be an attractive option.”He implored.
One MP from one of the parties said “We will not tolerate bigotry against anyone using their mythical sky fairy as an excuse to invade or bomb innocent people. Unless its the wrong mythical sky fairy in which case military action is the only option.”