A leave voter has told of his anguish this morning on waking up to find that there were some foreign people in his immediate vicinity who appeared to be showing no signs of packing their bags and shockingly seemed to be living their lives like nothing had happened.
“I thought we’d left the Oi you!” the disheartened Portsmouth resident told us.”And that means by law they should all fuck off on a bus.
“In fairness I gave it 24 hours or so but after that I quite rightly expected to wake up in 1950’s Britain where each town would have just one solitary black face called chalky who would take a bit of gentle ribbing day in day out about his ethnicity without getting a chip on his shoulder.
“But oh no. You can tell they’re not going anywhere. Supermarkets are still selling long bread. And pittas.” He added.
Other leave voters have told of their anger that despite the referendum result, Britain has failed to suddenly transmorph into the fictional Daily Express village of Nutwood ignoring the fact that Rupert Bear actually lives there in harmony with families from a variety of different species of woodland creature, thus mirroring multicultural Britain.
“I voted for us to leave the European Union in an advisory referendum which may or may not come into reality depending on whether David Cameron’s successor triggers article 50. So obviously I thought all the Indian people would leave.” One sobbed.
Prospective conservative leader Boris Johnson told us “I have no idea what the actual fuck to do next.”