Weak and pissy lager giant Carling has apologised following revelations that their weak and pissy lager is actually weaker and pissier than advertised, shocking all but people who have ever tried it.
“It may have a little less of the fall-over juice than we might have indicated, but there wasn’t that much in it in the first place. And it’s certainly no less tasteless with less alcohol in it so it won’t be any less enjoyable. Regrettably it won’t be any more enjoyable either.” A spokesman for Carling assured us.
One Saturday night reveller told us “I don’t drink it anyway because I don’t like it. But if I did like it I might have drunk loads of it over the years and I might have been less pissed, or had to buy more of it, or suffered with excessive wind. So I feel cheated and I want to know what Carling plan to do about it.”
Indeed another drinker told us that if he’d actually liked the stuff he would have been more than likely to buy it in supermarkets as well, blissfully unaware that it might actually be weaker and pissier than one would expect from a lager famous for being weak and pissy.
“I feel deceived. They market this stuff at knock down prices and you end up buying it thinking it’s a bargain. In fairness you can buy other beer quite cheaply as well so I normally buy that instead.”
A statement issued by Carling stated that they weren’t sorry and they were going to carry on doing it.
News Toad 
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