Public demand new crimes from 1970s celebrities

The British public are tired of hearing about 1970s television personalities being questioned for historic misdemeanours and have called for them to branch out into different crimes according to new figures released today. The news comes as crowds packed the courtroom gallery today to watch TV’s Ken Barlow being accused of some things. One spectator […]

William Roache appeals to public to stop shoving things up his arse

Coronation street thespian and spiritualist William Roache has made a heartfelt plea to the general public to desist from shoving things up his arse. The actor who specialises in playing Ken Barlows made the announcement via twitter, facebook and telepathy from his room in a private hospital where already he has had a toothbrush, a […]