US citizens have been urged today to come forward regarding the whereabouts of Bruce Springsteen, Elton John and U2 who are all reportedly on the run following news that President Of the USA, Donald Trump, has ordered the arrest and subsequent waterboarding of all musicians apart from the ones that played his inauguration.
Describing both music and films as “failed art forms” Mr Trump tweeted that he would waterboard all musicians and actors until they stopped being biased and started blaming everything on Muslims, China and Mexicans.
A house to house search for Bruce Springsteen has been unsuccessful so far. “We hear him singing from outside houses but when we check and arrest the occupants, all we can find are stereo systems and speakers. It’s like he’s playing some ingenious cat and mouse game. He’s toying with us.” A source close to the President confided.
Despite failed attempts to bring the likes of Springsteen in, the warrants have already had a detrimental effect on the arts with many resorting to books and social media, thought unlikely to be banned or censored until at least next week.
A spokesman for MTV said “We can’t find a single musician to perform on our shows. We’ve just had to play the same recordings and videos over and over again. Luckily that’s what we do anyway.”