Vegemite “just shit marmite”

Australia are rubbish at cricket and Vegemite is just shit Marmite according to Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott. Speaking to a heaving press conference the controversial Premier said “It’s time we faced a number of  facts regarding our national icons. Koala bears smell and they poo everywhere. And vegemite is simply awful. We’ve been banging […]

David Cameron “Britain must man up and learn to handle its drink”

Britain must man up and stop reacting to alcohol like a girl according to a report from a Government think tank released this morning. The report commissioned by Prime Minister David Cameron has warned that Britain must get “drink fit” if it is going to keep up with the rest of Europe. Speaking at a […]

New 8 pint limit for pensioners

Old people should try and keep their drinking down to around the 8 pint a night mark or risk health difficulties when they’re even older, according to research published this morning. Dr Graeme Wilson, from Newcastle University’s Institute of Health and Society, said: “These people are made from tough stuff, they hail from an age […]