Tesco to offer free cheese

In a bold move designed to drastically change the fortunes of the ailing supermarket giant, Tesco have announced this morning they are going to stop charging for all mainstream varieties of cheese with immediate effect. Chief Executive Dave Lewis said customers who had turned their backs on Tesco would soon be coming back in droves […]

Tesco to beat its staff with a shitty stick

Supermarket giant Tesco is said to be taking the unusual step of beating its staff to within an inch of their lives using a shitty stick in order to get to the bottom of how its projected half year profits were overstated by £250 million. Tesco CEO Dave lewis told us “We’ve tried paying our […]