The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Jeremy Clarkson is thought to be seriously considering a job in South America after a petition signed by almost 500,000 people, all Argentinians, has asked for him to go over and present his unique blend of jingoistic banter and motoring information over there. President of Argentina and self confessed Anglophile Cristina Fernández de Kirchner said […]
Alan Titchmarsh has been hotly tipped to replace Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear according to BBC sources. The green fingered Housewives’ favourite is thought to be a breath of fresh air from Clarkson, widely known as the curly haired bastard love child of Prince Philip who has graced our screens since the 1980s but has […]
Anticipated spectators of 2015’s Eurovision song contest due to be held in Vienna in May have been urged by experts to start drinking alcohol immediately and in great quantities, in order to survive the relentless battering of absolute bollocks to the auditory cortex, which is widely tipped to be the worst since 1976. The move […]
The Conservative plan to send an empty chair to the forthcoming political debates between seven parties is looking to have worked in their favour today, as already, several weeks before their commencement the chair is leading dramatically in the polls. One member of the public told us that whilst he generally voted labour, he would […]
Former weather man Fred Talbot indecently assaulted the weather using his position of power and influence to force himself on meteorological variations who were powerless to stop him. Announcing the guilty verdict, presiding Judge Timothy Mort summarised that under the guise of a temperature predicting clown who jumped around a floating map of Britain to […]
The new television adaptation of Hilary Mantel’s Wolf of Wolf Hall is nothing short of a fucking triumph according to some very important and clever people indeed. With performances described as “marvellously humane”, “smoothly acidic”, and “not shit”, journalists were this morning falling over each other to express their admiration of it’s sheer absolute fucking […]
Gary Glitter has reassured fans that the whole thing is a big misunderstanding and he’ll be back and touring in a shake of a lamb’s tail. Speaking to a hastily assembled press conference the singer told fans “These charges along with all the other ones and the ones in Vietnam and some others that might […]
The cast and crew of BBC1 soap opera Eastenders are remaining tight lipped tonight as filming ended for the final ever episode. The plot, which staff are contractually obliged not to reveal, sees the ending of a series that will have spanned 30 years by the time it is seen on television towards the end […]
While politicians huff, puff and declare states of emergency, one man has taken it upon himself to directly address the entire culture of extremism and give it a more disco like feel. Surrey resident Daley Mayall who runs weekly Roller disco nights has told BBC’s the One Show that virtually nobody attending his classes has […]
The worlds of music and celebrity have both been rocked to their core today after news broke that narcissistic performer Kanye West may have unwittingly said something intelligent. Jonathan Lager of Burgess Hill, Sussex was attempting to plant shallots in his garden when he received some unexpected advice from the self-absorbed crooner who just happened […]
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