The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
The Conservative plan to send an empty chair to the forthcoming political debates between seven parties is looking to have worked in their favour today, as already, several weeks before their commencement the chair is leading dramatically in the polls. One member of the public told us that whilst he generally voted labour, he would […]
Richard Madeley has confirmed this morning that he will be standing as an MP for Dover in May’s General Election replacing David Little in what is seen as a cynical move by UKIP leader Nigel Farage to revive the party’s ailing fortunes. Famous for being one half of famous television duo Richard and Judy where […]
A group of retired motorists have today claimed responsibility for a large proportion of rush hour traffic congestion due to deliberately getting up and driving around slowly and erratically between the hours of 7am and 9am despite having no reason to do so. Despite changing the subject and going off track a few times, a […]
Some sort of shit, bland, formulaic, lowest common denominator, factory produced nonsense made for the entertainment of dull people who don’t really understand music has been tipped by the smart money to win tonight’s Brit awards. The Awards which are being broadcast live, today or tomorrow, or possibly yesterday are seen as the British answer […]
Sir Malcolm Rifkind has spoken today of his fury that Police questioning him in his alleged involvement in the latest cash for questions scandal, have refused to pay for any questions they have asked him or he has asked them. “Just because they’re police and I may be guilty of a criminal offence, it doesn’t […]
A spokesman for the UK Independence Party has confirmed that if voted in at the next general election, a UKIP Government using its existing points system would be forced to have an open door for all foreigners if they were gay. “We don’t want anyone foreign or gay in Britain obviously but if an immigrant […]
The Daily Telegraph has urged readers to go on and have a Pot Noodle as from an impartial point of view it’s fun and it’s convenient whilst still being highly nutritional and a tasty snack. Speaking from an objective editorial point of view in its Sunday edition, a spokesman for the ailing broadsheet explained that […]
Chelsea football club are to require all fans to attend equality workshops of the type usually arranged for public sector workers and run by someone called Ros according to a statement released today. The newly appointed Director of PC also called Ros told us “We’d like football to be a pillar of political correctness starting […]
David Cameron has confirmed that senior Tories, cabinet ministers and party donors are not at all shitting it over today’s raids on the Geneva subsidiary of HSBC bank. “You can rest assured that neither this nor any future raids are going to turn up any sort of impropriety whatsoever. And if anyone we know just […]
Young people will be required to earn any social security benefits they may receive by painting themselves orange and assisting in the production of chocolate on a live-in basis, according to strict new measures announced today by Prime Minister David Cameron. “We have to end this entitlement culture. And young people are going to have […]
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