Ray Winstone to fight hard Brexit

Ray Winstone has challenged hard Brexit to a fight in a move that may be seen as a bitter blow to Prime Minister Theresa May’s authority on the matter.

Mr T to join cast of Eastenders

The BBC has confirmed today that former A-team star Mr T will be the latest in a long line of celebrities to join the cast of hit soap opera Eastenders. An spokesman for the long running soap told us “Phil Mitchell’s used to being the hard man of the square. But the moment Mr T […]

Foreign Office change advice to ‘Everybody must go to Yemen’

In a surprise change of direction this morning the foreign office have changed their advice for travelers  to “Fuck it. Life’s too short. Let’s all go on holiday to Yemen.” Speaking at a press conference this morning Foreign Secretary William Hague Well explained “We recently asked people to stay away from the place but then […]

Lord Carey “Persecute homosexuals or we’ll get God on you”

Lord Carey has this morning issued Prime Minister David Cameron with a stark warning “Start persecuting homosexuals again or we’ll set God on you”. Speaking at his annual pre-chocolate egg day address,  the Former Archbishop of Canterbury told us “God loves everyone. But he loves us more because we go to church and wear special […]

Kim Jong Un “We’ll stop if Danny Dyer stops making films”

Supreme leader of North Korea Kim Jong Un has signaled that he may be prepared to cease all threats of launching a nuclear attack on South Korea or the USA on the proviso that cockney geyser thespian Danny Dyer ceases making his shit films immediately. Close friend and confidant George Galloway told us “It’s no […]