Barry Chuckle to compete against brother Paul for Labour leadership

Barry Chuckle has this morning denied rumours of any sibling animosity  following the news that he will be running against his  brother Paul in the forthcoming labour leadership battle. One Labour insider told us “Paul Chuckle is furious. Over and above entertaining generations of children with the same joke he has never hidden his naked […]

Ed Miliband to step down as Labour leader

Ed Miliband is to step down as Labour leader with immediate effect, in what is seen by many as a last ditch attempt to see if Labour can win the next General election, without needing to form a coalition with the one surviving Lib Dem MP. A labour party source told us “If he’s managed […]

No reason to live in Britain now it has poisonous spiders

Britain is preparing itself for almost 100% migration following the news that it does after all have poisonous spiders, the only reason that people live here as opposed to somewhere nice and hot. It’s thought that the influx of false widow spiders is so widespread that every house will have one somewhere and most people […]

David Miliband leaves parliament to become train driver

David Miliband is planning to leave parliament to pursue his life long dream of being a train driver a close friend has confirmed to NewsToad. “He’s always wanted to be a train driver and finally he’s going to be one. He’s only been doing politics whilst he has been waiting for a position to come […]