The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Lib Dem Leader Nick Clegg has told fellow Liberal Democrats that they must prostitute their morals like a tupenny whore in order to get into a coalition with the most popular party following the 2015 General Election. “We should do or say anything that means we give the appearance of staying in power whilst in […]
Fundamentalist extremists who worship Neptune God of the Sea have threatened violent, humourless and ill informed action unless the creators of Captain Pugwash, Finding Nemo and Howards Way cease and desist their respective creative endeavours. One warning received in writing said “He’s quite a laid back deity as long as people avoid dramas, cartoons and […]
Jeremy Hunt must have a camera inserted into his anal passage as a matter of urgency according to Doctors, nurses and other healthcare professionals. A spokesman for St Mary’s hospital Paddington said “We can confirm that we will be sending out an ambulance to pick up Mr Hunt with a mind to bringing him to […]
Prince Andrew has been secretly demoted to a Lord until the whole thing blows over according to a palace insider. Speaking from a concealed vantage point behind a corgi our source told us “It’ll hit him hard. The transformation from having everything handed to you on a plate to just having most things handed to […]
The worlds of music and celebrity have both been rocked to their core today after news broke that narcissistic performer Kanye West may have unwittingly said something intelligent. Jonathan Lager of Burgess Hill, Sussex was attempting to plant shallots in his garden when he received some unexpected advice from the self-absorbed crooner who just happened […]
Former Apprentice contestant and twitter troll Katie Hopkins is set to be transformed into a theme park according to ambitious new plans which received planning permission this morning. Situated at the top of the Dover cliffs the park is likely to include white only knuckle rides A spokesman for Dover Council said the attraction could […]
An Officer for the Royal Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Bands has told of one of the worst cases of neglect in his career, after finding eighties rockers Simple Minds still playing in an abandoned stadium from a concert some 30 years earlier. The 20,000 seater stadium situated between Chelmsford and Basildon was locked […]
The Guardian and Daily Telegraph have announced that they are teaming up with on line skin flick vendor Porn Hub to host an online leader’s debate ahead of the General election in May. A spokesman for the three media outlets explained “People are bored of stagnant debate and lame party political broadcasts on BBC and […]
Buckingham Palace have confirmed this evening that at no time did Prince Andrew do anything with anyone ever for any money while nobody or anybody watched. A spokesman for the Palace read out the following statement: “There’s been a lot of speculation that Prince Andrew might have done something or other with someone for money […]
Former Prime Minister Tony Blair has told Labour Party MPs that they must become a right wing party and promise to start a few wars in order to be successful in this year’s general election. “Labour need to go far more towards the right. In fact more right than the conservative party. That’ll confuse them. […]
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