2015 to be longest year on record

2015 is likely to be the longest year on record according to experts. A combination of longer days and nights that stay the same length, along with several public events that are set to drag on incessantly will serve to make 2015 7% longer than 2014 in real terms. Whilst the extra length of 2015 […]

Religious leaders called to account as God’s arse to blame for 90mph winds

Britains religious leaders of all denominations have been called to account for the fact that worsening storm conditions may be caused by Gods arse. Dr Brian Cox told us “I’m a leading proponent of scientific explanations. But doesn’t take Einstein, or me for that matter, to work out that if we are all created by […]

Ed Balls ‘Genetically modified old people will grow fur coats’

Mr Eddie Balls, Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer and arguably number two in the ‘same shit different faces’ party has told a press conference that his pledge  to stop winter fuel cash payments to old age pensioners once in power is in no way cruel or inhumane, as a new breed of old people will […]