“I’ve been a very bad chancellor” George Osborne tells dominatrix

Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne has told an undercover  reporter posing as a dominatrix that he has “been a very bad chancellor” and should be “given a proper going over with a leather thwacky thing” for his mismanagement of the economy and total reliance on cutting public services. In contradiction to his confident air […]

Government warn shooting Trick or Treaters should only be a last resort

Prime Minister David Cameron  has voiced an impassioned plea to the general public to only shoot live ammunition at Trick or Treaters as a very last resort. Speaking on ITV’s daybreak, he told the nation that whilst nobody should have to endure home visits from people dressed up as creatures of the night, firearm usage […]

Nick Clegg “A free beaver for every voter”

Deputy Prime Minister and Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg  has made an impassioned plea for the return of his lost supporters in time for the European and Local elections by offering a free beaver for every voter. Seen by some as a risky ploy which if not successful could be referred to in the future […]

Ed Balls “We’ll give everyone a job by taxing bad people”

A Labour government will tax all bad people and give every single person a job according to new measures announced today by shadow chancellor Ed Balls. “Nobody likes bad people so it’s only fair that they contribute to a state orchestrated facade of full employment. We’ll be asking the public to demonise various stereotypes on […]

Bankers’ bonuses to be paid in cheese

Bankers’ bonuses are to be paid in cheese according to Prime Minister David Cameron in a surprise U turn regarding the running of the state owned bank RBS. “Legally we can only make RBS do it, but we would urge other city based banks and financial institutions to do the same if they want to […]

Ed Balls ‘Genetically modified old people will grow fur coats’

Mr Eddie Balls, Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer and arguably number two in the ‘same shit different faces’ party has told a press conference that his pledge  to stop winter fuel cash payments to old age pensioners once in power is in no way cruel or inhumane, as a new breed of old people will […]