The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
German Chancellor Angela Merkel is said to be incensed today following reports that the entire Greek islands have disappeared over night without leaving a forwarding address. According to neighbours Turkey, some rustling and “shhh” sounds were heard from across across the border, smattered with occasional giggling, but reports on when the country actually disappeared vary. […]
Whilst most exercise has undoubted health benefits some exercise can actually cause you to put on weight, more so than eating cheese according to a new report released today by scientists at the University of Hove. Publicising the report Professor Brian Cox explained that exercise may be a good thing sometimes but other times you […]
Prime Minister David Cameron has today assured pupils at Eton, Harrow and Westminster schools that their education will continue to be immune from cuts as long as they continue to have incredibly rich parents. As part of a whistle stop tour of Britain’s top public schools Mr Cameron promised the offspring of his friends that […]
The more money you have the better a person you are. Everyone knows that. Prostituting yourself in a wide eyed evangelical fashion to the corporate Gods can be time consuming, leaving precious few hours for sitting in poncy wine bars making sure everyone knows that you are drinking expensive champagne which secretly you don’t even […]
Literally tens of people have taken part in pro-austerity marches held throughout Europe today. The march which included a mixture of politicians, corporations heads and landed gentry is thought to have sent a clear and decisive message to anti-austerity campaigners to know their place and stop being so silly. One marcher told us that the […]
Babies created from three people will have spinning round heads, a tendency to projectile vomit and an absolutely filthy vocabulary according to a spokesman for the Church of England The Reverend Brendan McCarthy, C of E adviser on medical ethics, said of the process: “We are concerned that this is being thought of as an […]
UKIP have vowed that if they get into power they will turn the entire Island of Thanet into an all inclusive resort where where everyone pays in advance and gets served up regular meals of sausage and mash, chicken and chips and watered down beer. UKIP leader and parliamentary candidate for Thanet Nigel Farage said […]
Police are advising motorists to avoid the M40, M42 and M5 at all costs with reports that the M6 toll road is at a complete stand still with gridlocked traffic for 40 miles in each direction, following today’s introduction of customer care satisfaction forms. The M6 toll road is the only autobahn style road in […]
East 17 lied about everyone being in the house of love and even made a song about it in a cynical attempt to cover their tracks according to new evidence released either yesterday or today. One tearful fan told us that he felt not so much angry but disappointed with the 1990s foursome who later […]
The results are in: Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh may be known for his sexist gaffes but it seems the women of Australia are more interested in what the ageing Prince has in his trousers, voting him Sexiest Man of the Year 2015. In a double-win for the geriatric Duke, the results were published only days […]
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