The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Prince Andrew has been secretly demoted to a Lord until the whole thing blows over according to a palace insider. Speaking from a concealed vantage point behind a corgi our source told us “It’ll hit him hard. The transformation from having everything handed to you on a plate to just having most things handed to […]
The worlds of music and celebrity have both been rocked to their core today after news broke that narcissistic performer Kanye West may have unwittingly said something intelligent. Jonathan Lager of Burgess Hill, Sussex was attempting to plant shallots in his garden when he received some unexpected advice from the self-absorbed crooner who just happened […]
Former Apprentice contestant and twitter troll Katie Hopkins is set to be transformed into a theme park according to ambitious new plans which received planning permission this morning. Situated at the top of the Dover cliffs the park is likely to include white only knuckle rides A spokesman for Dover Council said the attraction could […]
An Officer for the Royal Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Bands has told of one of the worst cases of neglect in his career, after finding eighties rockers Simple Minds still playing in an abandoned stadium from a concert some 30 years earlier. The 20,000 seater stadium situated between Chelmsford and Basildon was locked […]
The Guardian and Daily Telegraph have announced that they are teaming up with on line skin flick vendor Porn Hub to host an online leader’s debate ahead of the General election in May. A spokesman for the three media outlets explained “People are bored of stagnant debate and lame party political broadcasts on BBC and […]
Buckingham Palace have confirmed this evening that at no time did Prince Andrew do anything with anyone ever for any money while nobody or anybody watched. A spokesman for the Palace read out the following statement: “There’s been a lot of speculation that Prince Andrew might have done something or other with someone for money […]
Former Prime Minister Tony Blair has told Labour Party MPs that they must become a right wing party and promise to start a few wars in order to be successful in this year’s general election. “Labour need to go far more towards the right. In fact more right than the conservative party. That’ll confuse them. […]
2015 is likely to be the longest year on record according to experts. A combination of longer days and nights that stay the same length, along with several public events that are set to drag on incessantly will serve to make 2015 7% longer than 2014 in real terms. Whilst the extra length of 2015 […]
Some posh rich old money establishment type people have set the record straight today by confirming that the honour of Dame awarded to Fiona Woolf is not at all iffy and actually shows the ruling classes to be very in touch with the people. Very in touch indeed. Baroness Butler-Sloss told BBC Radio 4 that […]
The band One Direction may have joined Islamic extremist group ISIS according to unofficial reports released today. The band have been under suspicion for some time for their frequent air travel. A Home Office spokesman told us “People don’t usually travel straight to Syria. They usually dart around different countries first, sometimes only staying a […]
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