The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Men, women, children and animals have been advised to only leave their homes if ‘absolutely essential’ as the number of road kill deaths from the ‘Google street car’ has reached ‘epidemic proportions’. The alleged cause of this sudden rise in mortality is that Google drivers are expected to drive, film, complete paperwork and access porn […]
Alex Jones, creator of the ‘Deport Piers Morgan’ petition, has told Piers Morgan that he and his supporters would only give up their gun ownership in return for special spider powers. “I don’t care about your little factoids” he told Mr Morgan on his CNN show when being confronted with gun death statistics “The Roman […]
French President Francois Hollande has announced this morning that in a new wave of austerity measures a limit of 24 inches or 60 centimetres on the size of a baguette will be imposed as of next week. “In France” Mr Hollande explained “social stratification is determined entirely on the length of your baguette. Someone on […]
The National Rifle Association has surprised critics and some supporters alike today on their announcement that America would be a much safer place if every household kept a pet lion. Wayne LaPierre, chief executive of the NRA told us “Lions don’t kill people. The wrong people left in charge of lions kill people. Well their […]
Mayans have warned the Earth’s entire population that if they want to avoid certain destruction as a result of the end of the world then they should act fast to purchase their special ‘End of the world proof underpants’. President of the Bromley branch of the British Mayans association Dave Smith told us “It’s a […]
World leaders have today been united in their resentment of Kim Jong-Un’s birthday treat from his government, a Unha-3 rocket, launched at 09:49 local time (00:49 GMT), which appears to have followed its planned trajectory, whilst dropping all manner of shit in expected areas. In a televised statement issued by the Korean central News Agency, […]
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