The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Progressive rock fans throughout the country have aired their disappointment today at news that front man Fish aka Derek Dick is planning to leave 1980s progressive rock band Marillion. Bass player Pete Trewavas told us the decision was regrettable but quite mutual. “He’s written some great lyrics, many learnt verbatum by men who find it […]
Residents of the Isle of Wight are making preparations for what may well be the world’s largest all night rave, which is set to be held over the August bank holiday week-end. DJ Paul Oakenfold told us “People are finding Ibiza too expensive so we need a home grown holiday venue where young people can […]
Festival goers have been left furious at today’s announcement from the organisers of the V festival that the live music event is to be cancelled due to unforeseen blandness. Richard Branson chairman of the Virgin group who own the festival amongst a number of other things told us “I just woke up in the middle […]
Comic book fans are said to be furious after leaked footage from the forthcoming Batman vs Superman film shows the pair initially fighting each other until the fight is broken up by Bananaman, who demands that they both apologise to each other and learn to settle their disputes in a more gentlemanly manner. Film Director […]
The BBC and other television companies are facing further investigation today as news has emerged that every single celebrity, that we as normal people, look up to and aspire to, is not real and has actually been made out of plasticine by artist and former Vision On presenter Tony Hart. A remorseless and unrepentant Tony […]
The art world is said to be “vibrating with pretentiousness” today following the news that an undisclosed absolute idiot with a lot of money has bought Tracey Emin’s stupid bed for £2.2 million. One art critic told us that Tracey Emin’s stupid bed had turned the art world on its head. “It has turned the […]
Criminals throughout the country are reportedly owning up to their crimes and then committing more in order to ensure a custodial sentence where they will stand a good chance of being entertained for free by a plethora of music hall talent from the 1970s. One judge we spoke to told us “We’re getting through convictions […]
Britain has today been coming to terms with the fact that as of the week-end it is now illegal not to like Dolly Parton. After what has been named the biggest concert by anyone ever, (aside from North Korea’s Kim Jong Un fest where the entire country’s population come to see their great leader play […]
Matt Damon has confirmed today that he will be taking on the role of rapper Ice Cube in the forthcoming film about the meteoric rise and fall of the rap band NWA. Damon who admits that this may be his most challenging role so far told us “People have commented that I may not look […]
Former Smiths front man Morrissey has sent out a heartfelt plea to Britains pubs and restaurants to not ruin what would otherwise be a nice family lunch out, by overcooking all meat at their special fathers day Sunday carveries to the extent that people might just as well have stayed at home and cooked the […]
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