The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Coldplay singer Chris Martin and actress Gwyneth Paltrow have once again given normal people respite from their insignificant little lives by announcing to the worlds media that they have both just taken a shit. The announcement came this morning when a message on on Paltrow’s website informed adoring fans that they couple were engaged in […]
Max Clifford is being viewed by the the public in a very different light today having completed six three minute rounds of boxing with an adult Bengali Tiger, in order to save a baby. Mother of the baby, Tracey Garlic of Aston Clinton, Buckinghamshire had nothing but praise for Mr Clifford when she spoke […]
The BBC are facing mass public outrage, though not as mass as when 6 music was threatened with the chop, as the planned demise of BBC3 may mean that people won’t be able to watch that thing. One frustrated viewer told us “You know that thing with so and so in it. I never got […]
The celebrity and fashion world have been rocked to their core today as it has transpired that some bird wore some dress to some event or other at some point in the last few days. The lady in question, who likes to sing some songs, wore a dress made from some different materials stitched in […]
One time Radio One DJ Chris Moyles has attempted to avoid over £1 million in tax by pretending to be a 09 plate Ford Focus according to a Customs and Excise tribunal. Moyles attempted to use a tax avoidance scheme called Working Wheels, which involved him telling HM Revenue & Customs he had spent a […]
Bernard Manning has surprised his critics by probably becoming the first ageing racist comedian to win Celebrity Big Brother. Our Big Brother correspondent explained “He started off very unpopular and initially he seemed a surprise choice of candidate. But to save his career he pressed on trying his best not to offend too many […]
Noel Edmonds is said to be in hiding today as the news that there actually isn’t any sort of system for winning his hit game show Deal or No Deal has gone viral. One previous contestant told us his shock at finding his whole ordeal of appearing on prime time television was in fact a […]
Dappy from N-Dubz is said to be in a critical but stable condition today having been eaten by a horse. The incident occurred during filming of a new TV series where the hapless rapper is attacked by a different animal every week. This episode’s assailant, a 4 year old thoroughbred steed, was just supposed to […]
Disgraced former Priest, Labour Councillor, charity boss and Chairman of the Cooperative bank Paul Flowers is set to present a new series of Jim’ll Fix It, according to BBC insiders. Mr Flowers who is due to be changing his first name to Jim specifically for the new position told of his excitement at bagging the […]
Speaking today on BBC Radio 4 in a candid interview disgraced cycling star Lance Armstrong has finally admitted that he is also Bez out of the Happy Mondays. One furious Happy Mondays fan told us “I went to see the Happy Mondays accompanied by Bez dancing about with eyes as big as saucers and then ten […]
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