Former Shadow Education Secretary Tristram Hunt has announced his intention to challenge Jeremy Corbyn in a Labour leadership contest.
Portsmouth and Southampton to share football team
September 24, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Portsmouth and Southampton will only need one football team once the new Solent authority comes into force according to Portsmouth City Council leader Donna Jones.
“Now I can put my nob in the sponge mix” announces Paul Hollywood
September 22, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Paul Hollywood has said he is delighted that he is the sole presenter and judge of bake off as now there are now no ladies to prevent him from putting his nob in the cake mix.
Mass school brawl probably over conkers or scrumping
September 20, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Secretary of State for Education Justine Greening has told critics that the recent mass brawl involving 100 school pupils in Northumberland Heath was probably due to lack of conkers due to the late autumn or perhaps someone scrumping more than their fair share of apples from nearby farms and gardens.
Man on phone can’t give any prices until a salesman comes to your house
September 20, 2016 by Leave a Comment
A man on the phone has explained that he is simply unable to reveal the prices of any of his company’s products until a salesman comes to your house.
Trump “USA would do better in paralympics if we had more guns”
September 18, 2016 by Leave a Comment
The USA’s pitiful performance in the Paralympics is entirely due to Americans not having enough guns, according to presidential hopeful Donald Trump.
Diane James to “strangle a puppy a day” until Britain leaves EU
September 16, 2016 by Leave a Comment
New UKIP leader and salaried MEP Diane James has promised UKIP members that she will squeeze the life out of a new born puppy every single day until Britain invokes article 50 and then every day after that until the process is complete.
Jerry Sadowitz to present Bake off
September 13, 2016 by 1 Comment
Comedian and Magician Jerry Sadowitz is set to host the new series of Great British Bake off according to Channel 4 who announced yesterday that they had won the contract for the flagship cake making competition.
Cameron to start new life as a farmer
September 12, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Former Prime Minister David Cameron is to start a new career as a farmer, following his resignation as an MP today.
Parents fury as son sent home from school for Oompa-Loompa attire
September 10, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Angry parents have today slammed the decision of their son’s headmaster to send him home from school simply because he was dressed up as an Oompa-Loompa, as ludicrous and akin to the actions of Adolf Hitler on a bad day.
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