McDonalds to ban only people who like McDonalds

McDonalds are to ban the only people who can bear to eat their food, following the revelation that some of them also like to get into fights. General Manager for Britain and Ireland, Filet O’Fish, said “We’ve no idea why cheap mass produced food in tacky surroundings brings in the wrong people. But we’re getting […]

New Conservative policies to be accompanied by evil laughs

David Cameron has told grass roots conservative supporters that he has listened to their views and is now prepared to act on them. From now on, he told party members this morning, there would be no more hard nosed fiscal policies given with a straight face under the vague guise of compassion, and it would […]

USA threaten North Korea with new Rocky film

The United States have warned North Korean leader Kim Jong-un to cease his nuclear program immediately or they will have no option but to launch a new Rocky film. The last time a Rocky Film was used aggressively by America was in the 1980s when a pretend bout between Sylvester Stallone and Dolph Lundgren successfully […]