The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
An Officer for the Royal Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Bands has told of one of the worst cases of neglect in his career, after finding eighties rockers Simple Minds still playing in an abandoned stadium from a concert some 30 years earlier. The 20,000 seater stadium situated between Chelmsford and Basildon was locked […]
The band One Direction may have joined Islamic extremist group ISIS according to unofficial reports released today. The band have been under suspicion for some time for their frequent air travel. A Home Office spokesman told us “People don’t usually travel straight to Syria. They usually dart around different countries first, sometimes only staying a […]
The Queen has used her Christmas day broadcast to highlight the importance of an alcohol fuelled punch up in sorting out personal differences in today’s society. Drunken fisticuffs she explained were a British institution that despite being used for hundreds of years to settle all manner of disagreements, was sadly dying out with pubs declining […]
In a rare statement God has gone on record to say he’s not that arsed about his birthday this year and really doesn’t want people to make a fuss. Speaking via the medium of vicars the supreme being explained “I don’t want anyone taking time off work on my account, I’d rather people just treated […]
North Korean supreme leader Kim Jong-Un has been urged to use his new found power as make or break film critic to rid the world once and for all of Hugh Grant films. Whilst many have been disappointed that Sony films have withdrawn the film “The interview” after threats from Pyongyang the subsequent move from […]
Campaigners are said to be delighted today as after 31 years of failing to show any remorse Paul McCartney has apologised for inflicting the song and video Pipes of Peace on an unsuspecting and largely trusting public. Whilst still largely unrepentant for the song’s original impact in the early 1980s the former Beatles front man […]
A spokesman for the Connaught theatre in Worthing has confirmed that after being approached every year since 1979, iconic American comedian Bill Cosby has finally agreed to play the lead role of Aladdin in this years pantomime. One inside source at the theatre told us “He’s moderately funny yet also squeaky clean and that’s just […]
Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith is reported to be incandescent with rage following reports that a man on benefits has adorned his house with Christmas lighting and decorations to an estimated value of £640,000 all at the expense of the public purse. Colin Darr of Whiteley Hampshire recently hit the headlines after managing […]
The BBC has confirmed today that former A-team star Mr T will be the latest in a long line of celebrities to join the cast of hit soap opera Eastenders. An spokesman for the long running soap told us “Phil Mitchell’s used to being the hard man of the square. But the moment Mr T […]
A spokesman for radio one has confirmed on their weekly Sunday chart show that the charity all star collaboration record “feed the ducks” for which all the proceeds go to aiding ducks in Yorkshire with avian flu has today reached the top of the hit parade. As in the 1980s the single is organised by […]
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