The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Cartoon athlete Billy Whizz has denied accusations that he deliberately missed drug tests throughout the 1980s when he enjoyed the accolade of World’s fastest boy. Lawyers representing the Beano have robustly denied any drug abuse within the comic citing as an example a weekly story about unruly school children who live on Bash street, who […]
Fracking is absolutely safe and everyone should be doing it in their own back gardens according to a new report by Lancashire County Council which looks set to be used as a blue print for the country as a whole. The report entitled ‘random drilling and shooting jets of water at great velocity into the […]
An Australian couple has vowed to divorce “as a matter of conscience” unless societies across the English speaking world, reverse their apparent relaxed attitude to incorrect placement of apostrophes. Speaking to a heaving press conference married couple and grammar purist’s Nick and Sarah Jensen told us “We walked past a car supermarket which advertised Ford’s, […]
Scientists have admitted that they are at a loss to explain why Stonehenge appears to be producing electricity at a rate that seems to be increasing every day as we move towards the summer solstice. A spokesman for the National Trust said “We’re not sure why this is suddenly happening but it seems you can […]
Juan Caunetto (38) experienced a drama that all men secretly dread whilst walking briskly to catch a tube train from Baker Street station in London. Just before entering the station he checked his flies only to find out that not only were they open but his own knob was hanging out for all to see. […]
Britain is bracing itself for what is likely to be the hottest week-end on record after news from the Met office has suggested that at some stage we are likely to have a weekend hotter than any other weekend that there has ever been before. High street retailers are thought to be anticipating record sales […]
Conservative voters are looking forward to the next 5 years of a Conservative Government, confident that they themselves will never get ill and as a result won’t be affected by the inevitable demise of the NHS. One voter we spoke to trying to get a last GP check up in told us “I don’t want […]
UKIP leader Nigel Farage has spoken today of his fury that his own image is no longer viewable on popular social network site Facebook due to new rules regarding the display of photographic images of tits, arses and bell-ends. Speaking via the ruder and more sweary site Twitter, Mr Farage said “I’m shocked, outraged and […]
Whilst most exercise has undoubted health benefits some exercise can actually cause you to put on weight, more so than eating cheese according to a new report released today by scientists at the University of Hove. Publicising the report Professor Brian Cox explained that exercise may be a good thing sometimes but other times you […]
The more money you have the better a person you are. Everyone knows that. Prostituting yourself in a wide eyed evangelical fashion to the corporate Gods can be time consuming, leaving precious few hours for sitting in poncy wine bars making sure everyone knows that you are drinking expensive champagne which secretly you don’t even […]
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