Donald Trump is ordering a pizza this evening and Dominos are going to pay for it, according to a tweet from the President.
Trump begins arresting and waterboarding musicians
January 20, 2017 by Leave a Comment
US citizens have been urged today to come forward regarding the whereabouts of Bruce Springsteen, Elton John and U2 who are all reportedly on the run following news that President Of the USA, Donald Trump, has ordered the arrest and subsequent waterboarding of all musicians apart from the ones that played his inauguration.
God refuses to attend Trump’s inauguration
January 15, 2017 by 1 Comment
Donald Trump has suffered the biggest snub to his presidency so far after God has reportedly ruled out attending the President Elect’s inauguration.
Trump “We will build a giant Mexican and Pink Floyd will have to pay for it”
January 14, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Donald Trump will commission the construction of a gigantic Mexican bankrolled by progressive rock band Pink Floyd according to the President Elect this morning.
“I never mocked that disabled reporter” says man who mocked reporter for being disabled
January 9, 2017 by 1 Comment
Donald Trump has gone on record today to deny mocking reporter Serge Kovaleski for being disabled even though he did and it was all recorded and everybody saw it.
Trump to keep an open mind on gravity
January 2, 2017 by Leave a Comment
The Donald Trump administration will keep an open mind on the concept of gravity, following concerns from the President elect that Newton’s laws may just be misinformation most likely started off by the Chinese.
Farage “USA and UK should use me as a condom”
December 18, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Britain should use Nigel Farage as a condom in its dealings with President elect Donald Trump according to the former UKIP leader.
Jimmy Saville awarded Time Magazine’s person of the year
December 7, 2016 by Leave a Comment
The late entertainer Jimmy Saville has been awarded Person of the Year for 2016 by US magazine Time.
Trump “Nigel Farage must be Queen of England”
November 22, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Nigel Farage should be made Queen of England in order to preserve Britain’s special relationship with the USA, according to president elect Donald Trump.
Boris Johnson “We must all climb into Trump’s arse”
November 14, 2016 by 1 Comment
We must all climb into Donald Trump’s arse and deferentially do his bidding, blindly following his every xenophobic whim according to Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.
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