The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Richard Madeley has confirmed this morning that he will be standing as an MP for Dover in May’s General Election replacing David Little in what is seen as a cynical move by UKIP leader Nigel Farage to revive the party’s ailing fortunes. Famous for being one half of famous television duo Richard and Judy where […]
UKIP leader Nigel Farage is said to be shocked, outraged and appalled following revelations that British chocolate maker Cadbury have chosen to make their popular creme eggs to a strict halal recipe. Speaking to a packed press conference Mr Farage said “Quite frankly I’m shocked, outraged and appalled. I used to love a creme egg […]
UKIP membership can constitute a disability in certain circumstances according to a ruling today by EU’s highest court. The European Court of Justice was asked to consider the case of a rather bigoted English male and UKIP voter who says he was sacked on the ambiguous technicality of being an immense twat, having refused to […]
Former fascist dictator of Italy Benito Mussolini has resigned as a UKIP parliamentary candidate following claims that he is dead, ineligible to vote in Britain and allegedly voiced extreme right wing views during his time as Prime Minister of Italy between 1922 and 1943. Lifetime UKIP leader Nigel Farage denied that the party was facing […]
UKIP leader Nigel Farage has blamed foreigners for ruining the British institution of Christmas as revelations emerge that the original Santa Claus or Father Christmas, St Nicholas, actually originated from the part of Asia now known as Turkey. Speaking to a hastily assembled press conference an angry Mr Farage said “Flying on an unregistered foreign […]
The people of Rochester and Strood have come together to show their appreciation for an unlikely four legged hero who single handedly prevented an immigrant from taking all our jobs. Oswald, a red setter, barked at a man who looked like he might well come from somewhere else and this most likely prevented him from […]
Newly appointed UKIP MP Mark Reckless has told of his rage that the now famous Rochester show home and white van rather than being a symbol for working class white Britain were in fact both filled to the brim with illegal immigrants. Foaming at the mouth Mr Reckless bemoaned “The flags and the white van […]
A European Court of Justice ruling backing Germany’s attempts to restrict unemployed migrants’ rights to welfare has been criticised for leaving UKIP supporters with nothing to talk to each other about. Whilst some UKIPers it is thought have been easily able to make the transition and start talking about other things that might interest them, […]
The UKIP Calypso song has reached number one in Jamaica, Trinidad and Barbados leaving critics of UKIP red faced following accusations of racism. The song is written and sung by former Saturday Superstore presenter Mike Read who told us “I’m white. But I’ve made myself sound like a black man. Not one of those new […]
The United Kingdom Independence Party will fill the English Channel with crocodiles in an effort to combat immigration should they be voted into Government or become part of a coalition. Speaking at a Press Conference UKIP’s MP for Clacton-on-Sea Douglas Carswell said “We’re basically surrounded by a huge moat but it’s still not stopping people […]
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