The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Canadian crooner Justin Bieber has confirmed that as of today he is now a fully paid up member of the United Kingdom Independence Party. The cock womble songsmith took time out from defecating onto fans from the top of a ladder when he broke the news, which it is thought will further increase Nigel Farage’s […]
Talks between Tony Blair and George Bush which took place in the lead up to the Iraq war are to be re-enacted word for word in the exact order that they were said, by puppets Sooty and Sweep, the Chilcott inquiry says. Whilst the inquiry has come under attack from many who feel that the […]
UKIP councillors and MPs are said to be livid at a new supermarket in Essex which has today banned anyone English from shopping there. The superstore situated between Chelmsford and Basildon is ultimately set to become part of a non-English only complex which will include a leisure centre, restaurants and a foreigners only car park. […]
Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills Vince Cable has confirmed that Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg has his support at least until the end of the week when he returns from his trip to China. Speaking on the phone from China Mr Cable told us “I’m in China at the moment but I’ve […]
UKIP voters are said to feel “betrayed, lied to and betrayed” as despite UKIP winning the European elections, many have woken up to find that Britain is still a multicultural country. One UKIP voter from Portsmouth Tracey Garlic told us “I feel betrayed, lied to and betrayed. We votes them into Portsmouth city council, and […]
Deputy Prime Minister and Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg has made an impassioned plea for the return of his lost supporters in time for the European and Local elections by offering a free beaver for every voter. Seen by some as a risky ploy which if not successful could be referred to in the future […]
Jim Davidson has issued the British electorate with a stark ultimatum “If UKIP get in, I’ll stay in the country”. “I normally threaten to sling my hook if the Conservatives don’t get in. But someone’s got to take a stand. I’ve even bought a house on 1970’s Island but if UKIP get in I’m not […]
Nigel Farage has expressed “regret” for controversial remarks he made about Romanians, explaining that such things often happen if he has been eating cheese. “Look it wasn’t really me. It was the cheese talking. I was hungry. Someone offered me a lump of cheddar and the next thing I know I’m spouting nonsense about how […]
UKIP leader Nigel Farage is said to be incensed yet vindicated as the news broke this morning that overnight a Romanian family moved into his arse. Speaking on Andrew Neil’s political chat show ‘Afternoon Bollocks’ where he broke traditional chat show protocol by refusing to sit down, Mr Farage explained “I think they’re Romanian anyway. […]
The United Kingdom will change it’s name to Scotland in the event of a win for the “yes to independence” vote, according to Prime Minister David Cameron. Speaking from the other side of bullet proof glass and wearing flame retardant trousers, Mr Cameron told a packed Glasgow press conference “We’ll be calling England Scotland, Wales […]
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