The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Share prices for Premier foods have taken yet another hit this morning at news that the figurehead of one of it’s biggest brands Mr Kipling has been arrested under operation Yew tree. Drawing unsuspecting people in under the premise of “Exceedingly good cakes” the seemingly kindly face of mass produced mediocre pastries belied a more […]
Residents of the market town of Bicester are said to be divided over news that it is to be expanded by up to 100% before being turned into a giant brothel servicing the needs of shifty looking men throughout the home counties. Some locals have hailed the project as one that will put Bicester on […]
Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne has pledged £2 billion of public money to some of his former schoolmates via the formality of the NHS which he has helped sell to his rich chums. The news released in the middle of the night on Saturday has been heralded by the owners of private healthcare suppliers […]
Newly appointed UKIP MP Mark Reckless has told of his rage that the now famous Rochester show home and white van rather than being a symbol for working class white Britain were in fact both filled to the brim with illegal immigrants. Foaming at the mouth Mr Reckless bemoaned “The flags and the white van […]
Television celebrity Myleen Klass has publicly hit out against Labour leader Ed Miliband over his plans to tax people who are overtly smug about their wealth, success or media attention. As Miliband sought to defend the so-called smug tax as a principled way of raising extra funding for the NHS, Klass said the levy would […]
George Osborne has reportedly brokered a 50% discount off a ready cooked chicken in the latest of a string of discounts declared by the Chancellor for and on behalf of the British people. “It’s normally £3.50 for one of these bad boys but I proved my metal today and as my receipt will prove I […]
The National Association of Alternative Rockers have confirmed this evening that all members will be continuing to express their individuality from the norm by dressing up identically, sporting the same haircuts, going to the same places and listening to exactly the same playlist in a display of uniformity that would make Kim Jong Un jealous. […]
Residents of Dorset and the surrounding counties are being urged today not to panic after a case of the Ebola virus was reported this morning. Bert Onions of Poole who this morning discovered he had the disease immediately called the local branch of Robert Dyas where he was due to work and announced that he […]
The United Kingdom Independence Party will fill the English Channel with crocodiles in an effort to combat immigration should they be voted into Government or become part of a coalition. Speaking at a Press Conference UKIP’s MP for Clacton-on-Sea Douglas Carswell said “We’re basically surrounded by a huge moat but it’s still not stopping people […]
Benefit claimants in Britain are 100% to blame for the recent global share slump according to Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne who has today announced plans to introduce more austerity measures until such time as worldwide share prices stabilise. And then carry on introducing more. “Once again the global economy looks shaky, particularly in […]
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