The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
MPs are anxiously awaiting the results of the punch up in Dover today in order to finalise British policy on immigration. One Dover local said “I had previously regarded the far right with some amusement and I was planning to ignore them and get on with my day. Now it’s all going to be decided […]
Protesters at Portsmouth University have told of their disappointment today at the management’s decision to keep its controversial 20 foot statue of Jim Davidson. A spokesman for the University said that they had listened to the protesters but concluded that they will have all pissed off somewhere else in 3 years time having finished their […]
Donald Trump supporters throughout the USA have hit back at suggestions that they are a bit simple and probably wouldn’t even find their way to the polling station on election day, should Mr Trump be a candidate for the presidency. One Trump fan told us he was furious at suggestions that the only way they […]
The leader of a monumentally wealthy pack of cunts that have found themselves born into the ruling classes has this morning denounced all Calais refugees as a bunch of migrants. “They’ve been told by that Jeremy Corbyn that they can simply come over here and have free cake.” Mr Cameron explained whilst simultaneously reaching for […]
Commiserations and messages of sympathy have been coming in thick and fast from around the music industry today, following reports that Rapper B.o.B sadly fell off the edge of the earth in an attempt to prove to the scientific world that the earth was indeed flat, and that you could fall off it. “Obviously it’s […]
Britain First are set to fly out to Syria to preach Christian values and wave British flags about, following the success of their recent Christian patrol in Luton. Leader Paul Golding said that the trip would prove once and for all that his group was committed to defending British values of tolerance and equality, even […]
Prospective Republican candidate for the presidency Donald Trump has said that he would leave the country in the event that he became President of the USA. Also known as Donald Trumpety-Trump the famous tycoon who inherited his wealth told a press conference that his refusal to endorse gun controls, and his habit of blaming the […]
Scientists have warned today that a new strain of scurvy which may be resistant to oranges and lemons is on the rise. The vitamin industry has come under fire after repeated calls to invent new vitamins have been ignored. A spokesman for the British Medical Association said “We’ve been a little bit too reliant on […]
A vacuous celebrity has published a book that can stop you being fat and it is available at all good book shops. The book which follows hot on the heels of the success of another book, by another celebrity, who also wished to use their experience of being on a television show or something to […]
Newly discovered Planet 9 can fuck off back to its own solar system and stop enjoying a free orbit around our sun according to right wing astronomers. “I’ve just taught my kids the solar system, dutifully missing out Pluto now that isn’t a planet any more. I thought I was doing the right thing. And […]
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