The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
By all accounts it’s less Scotland and more Sardineland, as the the shock results of the 2011 census have revealed that there is no longer a single square foot of Scottish land that doesn’t have a Scotsman standing on it. Anyone visiting Scotland and hoping to view lochs, mountains and heather will now sadly be […]
British society as a whole is going to have to start taking a great deal more drugs on far more frequent occasions if we are going to win the war on drugs, according to a statement released this morning by the Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg. “The war on drugs” he argued “is being lost […]
World leaders have today been united in their resentment of Kim Jong-Un’s birthday treat from his government, a Unha-3 rocket, launched at 09:49 local time (00:49 GMT), which appears to have followed its planned trajectory, whilst dropping all manner of shit in expected areas. In a televised statement issued by the Korean central News Agency, […]
The Duchess of Cambridge has confirmed the recent baby news from the BBC as a false alarm as it has turned out to be a ‘difficult poo’. In a statement this afternoon, the Duchess told us “I was convinced that I was pregnant, but on the other hand I hadn’t dropped the kids off at […]
In a move to end “non-competitive sports days” the Prime Minister today announced new measures to berate overweight pupils who come last in running races. Mr Cameron told News Toad this morning, “Under the labour government, nobody wanted to offend the fat kid who always comes last. Well we’re done with mollycoddling, and we’re going […]
News Toad 
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