Trump to deport toddlers

US President Donald Trump is to begin a mass deportation of toddlers following reports that statistically they shoot more people in America than Islamic terrorists.

“Next time we’ll elect someone even worse” promise US voters

US voters have promised that they will vote in someone even worse at the 2020 presidential elections if Donald Trump’s reforms fail to make America great again. “He oughta be alright. He’s racist, misogynistic and he mocks people with disabilities. And he thinks everyone should be armed to the teeth. So that should bring world […]

Trump “Muslims stole my tax returns”

Donald Trump’s tax returns have been stolen by Muslims, thus preventing him from producing them for public inspection, according sources close to the presidential candidate

Trump “Pope should stick to being a Muslim”

The Pope should stick to being a Muslim and stop criticising megalomaniac gun toting Christians, according to goose stepping presidential hopeful Donald Trump. Responding to the Pope’s argument that building a huge wall between USA and Mexico might be divisive and even unchristian, Mr Trump said he was not prepared to have his religion criticised […]

Trump “Give racism and firearms a chance”

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has pleaded for the world to join hands and assist him in the creation of a peaceful loving world, brought about through overt racism and endemic firearm use. Known in the USA as Donald Trumpety-Trump, the toupeed statesman who inherited his fortune, said “If everyone can just look into their […]