Theresa May has been accused of foul play today following revelations that her husband Philip May has cornered the market in wheelbarrows for people to fill up with soon to be worthless currency when they need to buy a loaf of bread.
May under fire as husband selling wheelbarrows for public to load worthless cash into
January 17, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Lidl “You can paint your house with our gravy for less”
December 17, 2016 by Leave a Comment
People will be able to re-decorate their houses on a shoestring according to budget supermarket giant Lidl following revelations that their gravy contains paint.
“£5 notes made from free range cows” assure Bank of England
November 30, 2016 by Leave a Comment
The Bank of England have assured the public today that all cows used to produce the new £5 note lived a wonderfully free life, gambolling through the meadows, before being slaughtered and used to emboss the Queen’s head on legal tender.
Daily Mail to cease trading as Google and Facebook ban fake news
November 15, 2016 by Leave a Comment
The owner of the Daily Mail has today confirmed rumours that the paper will cease all further publications in response to a crackdown on fake news.
Waitress “unable” to exchange tomato for extra sausage on full English
November 3, 2016 by Leave a Comment
The Equality and Human Rights Commission has reported one of the worst cases of Disability discrimination following the sad tale of a waitress with afflictions so severe that she was unable to exchange tomato for an extra sausage on the menu of a full English breakfast.
Daily Mail readers’ anger at plans for black Milky Bar Kid
October 29, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Daily Mail readers have threatened to boycott Nestlé products following reports that the next Milky Bar Kid is thought to be black.
BREXIT joy as pound worth same as Britain in 1972
October 11, 2016 by Leave a Comment
UKIP members and leave voters have been popping corks this evening following news that the value of the pound reached the same as it was in 1972, just before Britain joined the EU.
Man on phone can’t give any prices until a salesman comes to your house
September 20, 2016 by Leave a Comment
A man on the phone has explained that he is simply unable to reveal the prices of any of his company’s products until a salesman comes to your house.
“Here you are. Here’s €13 billion” Apple tell EU
August 30, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Technology giant Apple has handed over €13 billion to the European Commission today telling officials they were surprised they hadn’t asked earlier.
Post boxes to stop wearing Burkas
August 29, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Post boxes are going to have to stop wearing Burkas and start dressing like everybody else according to leaked minutes of a recent Government meeting. One Government insider told us “They don’t make any effort to fit in. They’re just all clad in red apart from the small rectangular gap at the top through […]
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