The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Under cover police may still be required to wear police helmets at all times according to the findings of a recent investigation into the conduct of under cover police. Seen as heralding a new era of openness and transparency, the move comes as many people claim to have been ‘fooled’ by policemen pretending not to […]
United Kingdom Independence Party leader Nigel Farage has today announced a renaming of his party to “United Kingdom Under Neath the Tweed” or UKUNT until September’s referendum on Scottish independence with a possible view of changing it back again in the event of a “no” vote. Speaking on Andrew Neil’s weekday political show ‘Afternoon Bollocks’ […]
Alex Salmond has suffered his biggest blow so far in his campaign for the yes vote in the ‘Should Scotland be an independent country?’ with this morning’s news that all attractive large breasted women will leave Scotland en masse. Speaking at a hastily assembled press conference, Prime Minister David Cameron explained “I am told by […]
Tony Blair gave his special ‘lucky pants’ to newspaper executive Rebekah Brooks to try and swing the odds in her favour just days before her arrest in connection with the phone hacking scandal, a court has heard. In an email to James Murdoch, the then News International executive chairman Brooks recounted the key points of […]
A solely Conservative Government will distance itself from the European Court of Human Rights and send everybody to prison, a party spokesman has confirmed this morning. Speaking to Andrew Neil on his weekday political show “Afternoon bollocks” the Home Secretary Theresa May explained: “Bang them up until they get used to it and it becomes […]
Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has signalled that the Lib Dems may go into Coalition with an independent Scotland depending on the results of September’s referendum. “They’ll need our moderating influence, otherwise they’ll just be far too Scottish. They need us.” Mr Clegg has already ruffled feathers within the Lib Dems by not only changing […]
Prime Minister David Cameron has reassured flood victims throughout the country with the simple message “It’s ok. I’m nice and warm.” Having emerged from this evenings COBRA meeting Mr Cameron reassured a packed press conference “The flooding has been a tragedy for all those affected. But don’t let the thought of me being cold and […]
Scotland’s First Minister Alex Salmond has written to David Cameron to formally bagsy the pound in the event of Scotland choosing independence from the United Kingdom. Issuing a brief statement Mr Cameron said “Earlier this week, we explained that a vote for independence would mean walking away from the pound. We hadn’t fully anticipated that […]
Babies and young children are set to face a ban on smoking whilst in cars depending on the results of today’s House of Commons vote in a move that has divided politicians and motorists alike. One motorist we spoke to told us “It’s absolutely ridiculous. My 18 month old has no concept of the dangers […]
An independent Scotland will be forced to accept Alex Salmond as a life long President who is likely to desperately cling to power by force until he reaches his mid eighties according to a statement from Prime Minister David Cameron. Speaking whilst fending off missiles being thrown at him by Somerset locals, the Premier warned […]
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